narrow stairs

it's right about time for an update; today is a tiny crease in my hectic and speedy schedule. tomorrow i'm leaving for LA.

i haven't had time to take pictures or read books. it's been all about either playing music or studying. i have a lot of fun, though. have i been growing? definitely. i just don't enjoy being around people who are judgmental because they see the world so hatefully. all i want is to have fun, also, in the expense of no one but myself.

i haven't been sober for more than 48 hours this week. alcohol, i'd have to say, is a very wonderful social lubricant.

i haven't been able to watch movies, dammit. which reminds me - which movies should i upload to my ipod for the trip? hmm, hmm.

but i watched almost famous the other day pala. man it was so awesome! if kuwago or surgery or any of my other bands become famous, I WANT A PENNY LANE :( haha.

so, LA tomorrow. this, by so far, will the longest time i've been away from my house.

this is my boarding pass to nowhere

read my lips when they tell you they want to touch yours, above and below. you frustrate me in so many ways, you set yourself apart so well by getting near me and telling me about yourself. there are no secrets involved but the distance between you and me feels like a close-casket romance that is shared only by the dead, a river of corpses floating in the middle of the atlantic, we're transatlantic that way. let's get straight to the point and burn those dead bodies until they feel alive, let's go straight to business, away from euphemism, away from the mania and away from manila. you're all that i've ever hated which makes me want to chase you, which makes you a butterfly. i hate you the same way i like skating against cars. the chase is useless but it's worth the sweat because you know you're fighting for the primal, most basic instincts of human nature. you fight for sense. so be sensual and sense me now.

dreaming californication

from hardcore to softcore then hardcore again,
the Manila heat peeping in my window pane
lady luck and kurt cobain
video tapes and falling asleep, it all happened here
then saying "I love you."

i'm so tired --

but it's better to burn out
than to fade away.
-kurt cobain

oh -- stop.

with your feet on the air and your head on the ground
try this trick and spin it, yeah
your head will collapse
and there's nothing in it
and you'll ask yourself
where is my mind?
-the pixies